when I grow up . . .

Skyscraper Museum, Scott Duncan, SOM

I asked my four-year-old what she wanted to be the other day.  "I want to be a Science Test!" she chirped.  So sweet.  Happy sigh.

My 10 year old?  A child who is intelligent, creative and driven.  She wants to be an architect working in New York City for Uncle Scott's firm.  My "Miss Precise."  Uncle Scott is a Director at SOM.  At 38, the youngest Director by decades.  Travels around the world.  Lives in a glamorous loft.  Works on massive projects.  Makes gigantic decisions.  Has teams of people working for him.

My 8 year old?  A professional chef who owns her own restaurant.  Coming from a child who LOVES Top Chef.  :)  She is my 'chopper".  My 'cooker'.  My 'money sorter'.  My "Miss Enthusiasm."

I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was younger.  Not original, I guess.  But, absolutely adored horses, dogs, guinea pigs, hamsters.  This was replaced during high school with my dream of becoming a reporter in Washington, D.C., followed by a strange vision of becoming a lobbyist during my college years.

I instead became a paralegal and transitioned while pregnant with my firstborn to becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom.

My days are jam-packed, just like everyone else's.  Car lines, music lessons, dance, baton, preschool, church, MOPS, Girl Scouts, neighbors, friends, family, laundry, groceries, dog, vacuuming, cleaning, washing dishes.

This wasn't exactly what I was going to 'be' when I grew up.  But, I am privileged to have this as my job.  It is an honor to be home with my family.  I try to do my "job" to the best of my ability.  I have to, at the end of the day, feel that this is enough.  It is enough simply to be "this" since I am now grown up.

Normally I am comfortable with this concept and satisfied with the impact I make on my family, my home and my community.  But, funny, I feel a little doubt there today.  It is not a feeling I like having.

So, I will return to putting away laundry, emptying the dishwasher and cleaning some baseboards.  All before I get in the car lines, two today, babysit a friend's daughter, run to the store for dinner, make dinner, get everyone to dance, homework, bath, brush teeth and get into bed.  And I will tell myself that this is enough.  What I am doing is making a difference.  'This' is what I should be.

It IS enough, isn't it?