paid in raisins . . .

I have a confession to make. I once was kind of glamorous. Not for long, mind you. But still, for a period of time in the early 1990s, being glamorous was a 'high-priority' on my list. My paycheck? For glamour. My weekends? Doing things that glamorous people did. My wardrobe? Fabulous! My skin? Over-tanned. My heart? Stressed and empty.

I spent a tremendous amount of time thinking about me. I worked at a hugely busy law office and then worked on me. My time spent with friends was spent racing from place to place, 'seeing' and 'being seen' and struggling to fill voids with conspicuous consumption that I know now could never be filled.

Marriage and motherhood changed my world. I made a dramatic leap of faith in leaving my hectic 'glamorous' world for a traditional marriage to a man in the military followed by the birth of my three children. I have never regretted my decision. My priorities shifted. I changed. Everything changed.

My paycheck? I'm paid in raisins, 'one of a kind' works of art, paperclip jewelry and 'love you mom' notes. My weekends? Filled to the over-flowing with festivals, scout meetings, birthday parties and family dinners. My wardrobe? Target clearance and MOPS' Garage Sale treasures. My skin? I'm not sure. I haven't had a chance to look in the mirror during the past ten years. ;) My heart? Full. Incredibly full with the love of my family.

Do I regret those empty, glamorous years? No. Actually, I do not. I did have some exciting experiences and for that I am grateful. But, first and foremost, those years give me a fresh appreciation for waking up to a fulfilling and enriching life of living for others rather than just for myself. I experienced those 'fabulous' times and I am grateful to have had those opportunities. But, would I go back? Would I choose a different route? Absolutely not.

I now embrace my "mommy chic". I like having a favorite headband and a 'dressy' ponytail holder. I like that my lipstick is more often than not 'buy one, get one'. I am excited when my pants cost $3.74. And I cherish my filled heart.

Glamour? Beauty? It is in the eye of the beholder. To our little ones, we are all simply beautiful. To Him? We . . . are . . . exquisite.